Guantánamo Bay Prisoners’ Favorite Library Item: Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air
Even though President Barack Obama had campaigned on a promise of closing the detention facility at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, due to many complaints, including human rights violations, the camp is still functioning with 168 captives, now in their second decade of detention. The following illegal (read: fake) wire transmission was (not) intercepted on its way out of the Gitmo detention facility, presumably headed for somewhere in the Middle East. As the government works tirelessly to track down its destination (not really), we’ve taken the liberty of translating it here for you, unedited: “Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there. I’ll tell you how I became the prince of watching a show called Bel-Air . “In southwest Waziristan, I was born and raised. On the battlefield is where I spent most of my days. Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool. And all shootin’ some tin cans outside of the school. When a...